Saturday, December 31, 2005

Finally, Someone With The Guts To Stand Up To Those Overbearing Gregorians

Here's a little something to noodle whilst ringing in the New Year:
Dick Henry, a man with an unbelievably Anglican name, is tired of being trampled by the opressive, chaotic nature of the traditional Gregorian calendar. After decades of needless calendar reprinting and date-day calculations, Mr. Henry is finally standing up and saying "NO MORE!" He is leading the charge of calendar reform with the flaming sword of the "Calendar-and-Time" (C&T) system. The proposed system would ensure that all months would conform to the much more efficient 30 or 31 day template and each date would fall on the same day each year. Christmas, the lynchpin of the system, would fall every year on Sunday, Dec 25, people would gather together every Wednesday, July 4th to light firecrackers in celebration of America's Independence, and every year I would have an excuse to get drunk in the middle of the week for my birthday. Now, I know what you are saying, "there must be a downside, nothing could be this easy!" Well, in answer to your assumed skepticism, the only thing we would have to worry about is an occasional mini-month called a Newton that pops up every 5 or 6 years. How can we lose? But wait, there's more! Going arm-in-arm with this new calendar is a new time system as well. The proposition is a universal time, centralized around Greenwich Mean. Our sense of time will be slave to that brutal taskmaster, the Sun, no longer. To put it in perspective, here is an excerpt from an FAQ from a C&T support site:
"Question: So, you are really just asking: do I want a very accurate, but very inconvenient calendar (Gregorian), or do I want a more-than-adequately-accurate, but VERY CONVENIENT calendar (C&T)? Answer: Yes."

1 Comments:

Blogger fae said...

but my birthday would always be on a monday... I hate that.

10:45 AM  

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